Reading body language signs you display may reveal messages you'd rather it didn't

This page describes how reading body language and body language signs is a key to understanding what different types of nonverbal communication may be revealing. Coupling your non verbal communication skills with active listening activities, and asking effective questions, will help you master body language in communication.

Reading body language can be very revealing - watch out.

Your communication skills need to include the golden triangle of listening, asking and summarising AND your powers of observation.

Why?

Because in addition to what is being said in face-to-face communication, another language is also being used.

That language is body language and we are often more eloquent in this language than in our native tongue.

Types of nonverbal communication are not spoken, of course, but are on display. The body language signs given off by someone are visual and comprise, for example, gestures, movements, facial expressions, posture.

Reading body language means observation of the non verbal communication.

Watching people's actions and movements and expressions may bring you closer to the truth because body language is the expression of inner feelings and emotions.

However, because reading body language is non verbal communication, it must be interpreted and that's where things can get tricky.

Whilst certain gestures or postures or expressions may convey generic messages, it is important to interpret them carefully in the context of the communication situation that is occurring at the time.

Reading body language involves observing the body language signs that are on display.

Develop your observation and interpretation skills by:

* practice - watch carefully and in detail (using limbic left brain thinking) for the non verbal messages that are being communicated

* monitor consequences and outcomes to verify your interpretations (this is feedback from which you will learn and sharpen your skills)

* where appropriate (?), ask the people involved to verify your observations and interpretations (or not).

How to read body language.

The keys are authenticity and consistency.

That is, are the messages coming from the spoken language consistent with the messages coming from the body language in communication?

Is the person displaying consistency of body language signs?

If not, this may signal that you need to apply the golden triangle of communications more rigorously (especially active listening activities and asking effective questions about whatever triggered a change in the body language).

Body language eye contact.

Reading body language based on eye contact can be very rewarding as we have relatively little direct control over how our eyes communicate emotion.

Sometimes referred to as, "the windows of the soul", our eyes can and do give and receive powerful messages.

There are a number of eye body language signals to consider, of course, but it usually pays big dividends to pay attention to the dilation or contraction of the pupils.

Our pupils automatically dilate when we are aroused or pleased and constrict if we feel threatened and we have no conscious control over this process.

Body language and eye contact are critical types of nonverbal communication but it is not always easy to spot what is happening as it often happens very quickly.

Types of nonverbal communication:

Reading body language means just that - BODY (all of it) language.

Pay attention to the face, of course, but recognise that, with the exception of the eyes (as described above), most of us have learned how to present a mask to others to hide our true feelings and what may be going on inside.

Some of this makes sense in terms of basic interpersonal communication skills but it emphasises that we must also pay attention to the body language signs from other parts of the body that we cannot mask as easily.

So, pay attention to the legs and arms and shoulders and fingers and hands.

All of these are important in how to read body language as they may give valuable indicators of inconsistency (and a lack of authenticity) to explore in depth.

Develop your non verbal communication skills by, for example, looking for examples of non verbal communication in interactions between people that you can observe in a non-intrusive, non-offensive, people watching way.

Non verbal communication is essential and inevitable between people and reading body language is a vital communication skill with benefits to all.

Skill at reading body language is really valuable because, unlike verbal language, non verbal communication is not so easy to disguise and will reveal inner feelings. Develop your observation and interpretation skills as part of your self improvement programme.
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