Because the biggest benefits result from what you DO when you are being positive - from how you behave. This is what will enable you to build your confidence and be a victor.
How would you know, from their behaviour, that someone was being positive or negative?
You could probably fill a whole book with answers to that question, but there are a few key behaviours that will raise your awareness and help you to be proactive and successful.
For example, the thinking that leads to behaviours such as these will often be described as "negative" by others:
* criticising and complaining and blaming every one else
* encouraging others to join in the criticisms and defensiveness
* preventing change or making change difficult to achieve
* deliberately sabotaging others' efforts - making things fail.
If there is a pattern of responses and behaviours like this, others will probably describe the person as a negative thinker and if it continues as a habit, they may even see this negativity as part of the person's personality.
On the other hand, if you are seen to display the following behaviours, you will probably be described as a positive person:
* making a difference (this usually involves taking ownership and responsibility and demonstrating initiative and leadership)
* if you can't make a difference directly yourself, finding the person who can and then influencing them to your solution or a better one
* helping (yourself and others) to make change work. That is, change has to be decided upon and then actioned. You can always choose to help with the implementation even if you weren't involved in the decision
* supporting and encouraging others (i.e. facilitating other peoples' confidence and achievements).
Get the idea?
Raise your self awareness to recognise when you may be thinking and behaving negatively and get some feedback from trusted others from time to time.
Every time you recognise that inner voice just being critical, or every time you realise that your behaviour is "negative", you may decide to choose to generate twice as many positive thoughts (at least) and become a victor in your behaviours.
"Positive" thinkers tend to think mainly in terms of POSSIBILITIES in a situation (e.g. what could we do?; what options do we have?).
"Negative" thinkers tend to think mainly in terms of LIMITATIONS (e.g. we can't do that; that will never work).
When is it NOT "a good thing"?
Surely, positive thinking is absolutely "a good thing", after all, we're often told to be positive and criticised if we raise any doubts or concerns.
Well, if you get stuck in the negative thinking and behaviours, as illustrated above, that will usually have undesirable consequences.
If though you raise doubts or concerns and then go on to suggest possibilities for dealing with them, that's great.
So, so-called "negative" thinking can be really valuable as an entry-point to change and continuous improvement.
It's when the thinking and behaviour stops, having criticised what's wrong, that it is a problem.
And there are times when positive thinking may also act as a negative.
For example:
* when it prevents honesty and openness
* when it dodges double loop learning and settles for defensive reasoning (e.g. so as not to upset anyone)
* when it becomes spin, attempting to justify anything as a good thing
* when it masks incompetence and, therefore, results in problems being fixed rather than solved
* when its lack is used as a put down weapon to make people feel foolish or small.
In these situations, and others I'm sure you can think of or may have experienced, the cry to "be positive" is not good news.
I have been involved in many situations where the necessary stimulus to change needed an honest criticism of what was wrong as a starting point.
Yet this was squashed by others, who accused the person who was willing to put their head up and "tell it as it is" honestly, of being negative.
In cases like this, "positive thinking" is not a good thing per se.
Why bother, is it worth the effort?
If you avoid the trap of being positive inappropriately, as described above, there are massive benefits to be had from positive thinking. For example:
* the situation will be significantly improved by thinking and behaving in terms of possibilities.
The alternative of constant limitations and reasons why we can't do things will tend to frustrate people and lead to missed opportunities (e.g. to solve problems, to make decisions, to achieve beneficial change)
* other people are usually motivated and inspired more by positive thinking than by negative thinking.
Most people tend to prefer being around others who are encouraging, stimulating and fun.
This boosts both their, and your, self confidence, power, and leadership
* and YOU will benefit in many ways. For example, your self confidence, self esteem, self awareness and learning (i.e. enhancing your capacity to create own future) will all improve significantly.
In addition, you will likely experience a strong sense of well being and general good health.
These benefits alone (and there are many others) are priceless.
How to build the habit - HOW do you do it?
Positive thinking needs four key things:
1. be in charge of your minds / brain
For example, use visualisation, self hypnosis, meditation and learn to relax at will.
These techniques work very well on your way into sleep and will enable you to programme yourself for success by letting your minds know what you want and expect to be a victor
2. think in possibilities rather than limitations.
For example, get into the habit of asking questions such as, there's another way of looking at that, isn't there?; what options do we have?; how can I help you?; what would happen if we did the opposite of what we're thinking of doing?
Use techniques such as brainstorming to generate more possibilities.
Think about your values and beliefs and are they helping you to be positive? (e.g. all things are possible; there's only results, not failure etc.)
3. raise your self awareness
For example, get into the habit of recognising when you're being positive and when you are not.
Use your learning log or journal to jot down examples and see what patterns emerge.
This will help you to build your ability to diagnose when it matters (i.e. when is positive thinking an appropriate match with the situational needs?)
4. make all situations learning situations by, for example:
* challenging the past (e.g. ask what happened?, how did it happen?, if doing it all over again, what would you do differently?, why?)
* and then pivoting to the future, to make it better than the past (e.g. what have we learned? what will we start, stop, change to ensure a better future?)
* and then doing, putting changes into action to be a victor.
Loop around the above as often as it takes.
Sounds great, but how do you get started?
As with most aspects of self improvement, there is no formula for this, whatever works for you is fine.
From experience, here are some options that might help:
* pick an area where you want or need to use or boost your positive thinking and set some short-term goals
* set some simple targets for today (on your way into sleep, visualised as if already achieved) and raise your awareness by monitoring your "success" through out the day
* don't get stuck in negative thinking (i.e. limitations). Be sure to use it to move into a positive mode by thinking about possibilities (e.g. use questions to generate, say, four possibilities for every limitation your minds come up with).
Click here to see some inspiring achievement quotes
* connect with, learn from, and use as role models others who do think positively but make sure that they don't abuse it (see above re when it isn't good)
* capture your learning and progress in your learning log.
Finally, does learning and developing positive thinking habits mean that you have to have a personality transplant?
Absolutely not.
Click here for some positive thinking quotes and phrases.
Other recommended sites:
If you would like to discover more of your own creative talents as a means of putting positive thinking behaviour into practice; having great fun; and boosting your self esteem through achievement, click here to visit Lois's great site.
Positive thinking is a choice you can make.
The more you choose it, the easier it gets.
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