Mentoring has been around as long as civilisations have existed

This page explains what mentoring is; how it differs from coaching; the role of the mentor and how the process helps with building self esteem and career planning.

The process is not new or the latest fad.

Sometimes, self improvement techniques and processes that have been used for a very long time get re-packaged and presented as the "latest" fad.

In this case, however, the process has existed ever since one person asked for the help or guidance of another.

In Greek mythology, for example, Ulysses entrusted his son Telemachus to Mentor, a wise guide and advisor, when he went on his odyssey.

With a little support from the goddess Athena, he helped Telemachus to think, deal with decisions and achieve self improvement.

So, what is it?

It is a process of helping someone:

* to learn

* to initiate, respond to and deal with change

* to achieve success both in terms of goals (e.g. career planning) and in terms of personal growth and, like an effective facilitator,

* to help people help themselves (i.e. build their self confidence; develop their self esteem and achieve increased empowerment).

In addition, the positive relationship involved may be long-lasting and include:

* informal mutual help and support

* on-going advice and guidance as situations crop up

* sharing of experiences, insights and wisdom

* developing of values and beliefs

* developing a strong "friend" relationship based on high levels of mutual respect and trust.

How does it differ from coaching?

The major differences are:

* coaching is most often directed by the coach whereas it is the mentee who owns and drives the process

* coaching aims to build skills and knowledge (focus on the task) compared to developing capacity and capabilities (focus on the process)

* coaching is often short-term with discreet start and finish points compared to longer-term, open-ended and, often, on-going

* coaching often uses feedback explicitly for gap-filling purposes compared to using feedback to help people discover self improvement for themselves.

What does a mentor do, and how?

He or she fulfills many roles with these three being very highly valued:

* being a sounding board

* being a great listener, and observer, and

* being a "critical friend".

In terms of behaviours, and the process involved, these roles require:

* building rapport and a relationship of mutual trust, respect and support

* clarifying and defining purpose (i.e. what goals need to be achieved and why? - both at a particular exchange and overall)

* listening, questioning and summarising frequently in the face-to-face communications - i.e. using the golden triangle of communications

* using problem solving techniques and decision making models appropriately

* using high support-high challenge to generate new thinking and options and to ensure proactive ownership of issues and solutions

* using double loop learning to probe beyond the superficial and challenge assumptions and motives

* checking frequently that the process is of benefit and that mutual learning is taking place (that is, mentors learn too)

* listen, listen, listen - to what? question, question, question

* summarise outcomes, decisions, actions, learnings etc. at the end of an exchange (or at the "end" of a project) and agree what happens next

* encourage the mentee to capture learnings etc. in a learning log or journal.

Common applications:

Mentoring is frequently used in:

* families and extended families

* between friends and in social groups

* in education (e.g. study choices; commitment to studies and applying learning)

* in employment (e.g. helping with career planning and choices; in training and development, especially helping to release and realise potential, often for promotion; continuous professional development)

* in networks (e.g. of self employed people; societies and other organisations)

* in all learning situations and where support and guidance may be needed by someone

* in all self improvement and personal growth situations.

Mentoring has existed as long as people have supported each other.
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