Giving feedback and receiving feedback is the breakfast of champions.
Want to win?, Want to be a victor?
Guess what?

Giving feedback is necessary and inevitable. This page explains why; some common feedback inhibition factors; giving negative feedback key points; and how giving receiving feedback is a two-way street.

What is feedback?:

Feedback is defined as, the return of feelings, information, changes, results etc. to the stimulus that caused them so that learning can occur and improvements can be made

It is a powerful self improvement process that requires effective communication skills and will be enhanced by positive thinking.

(Click here to see the benefits of negative thinking).

What is giving feedback? - a process of giving receiving feedback and shared learning that is the best gift to help you be all that you can be.

Why bother?:

* feedback is the breakfast of champions - we know in sport, for example, that world and olympic champions invest heavily in continuous coaching and training

* our past is not our potential - our past is our past and if we learn from it we can release and realise more of our potential (to help create the future of our choice)

* giving feedback creates more choices, and opportunities to influence, for us and others

* it is both necessary and inevitable - could a child ever mature into an adult without it? could we survive without it?

* it builds trust and respect - depending on how it is done, of course (please see below)

* it facilitates learning and development and, therefore, self help self improvement and success

* it is an essential aid to helping avoid and overcome communication barriers

* it helps us to initiate and adapt to change, expand our comfort zone and, whilst this may feel uncomfortable in the short run, it is critical for our longer term future

* it is done anyway - everyone you know, and have a relationship with, has an opinion about you (just as you have an opinion about them). You can't stop this happening so the smart thing to do is to share the opinions constructively so that all of the above benefits can be achieved (and, do some self diagnosis to check your effectiveness in this vital area).


In particular, pay attention to the following:

The power and control rests with the receiver

How the giver shares views is important, but, when the receiver is truly focused on learning, there can be no such thing as giving negative feedback.

It makes explicit what was already in people's minds

Whilst perceptions stay unshared inside people's heads, they are of no value to the receiver and can't be used for learning and self improvement (even though they will be affecting the giver's attitude and behaviour).

Both giver and receiver must commit to make the process positive

In practice, this means using the golden triangle of communications.

As all shared views are subjective, and about perceptions (not absolutes), both giver and receiver must ensure that they are:

* hearable

that is, specific, not global; situational, not absolute

* useable

that is, timely, not delayed; a useful amount, not too much

* testable

that is, descriptive, not judgemental or an assumed, "why?"

* owned

that is, shared to make a difference, not to "win"; belonging to the giver and receiver, not third party

In addition, the thinking preferences of both giver and receiver must be taken into consideration.

For example, a strong right brain thinker is likely to express feedback in relationship, big picture terms which may not be easily received by a strong left brain thinking receiver (who wants the facts and evidence and specific examples).

It is really about the future

Although it is called feedBACK, and often refers to the past, giving feedback cannot alter what was, of course.

It's real value lies in enabling the receiver (and the giver) to make different choices about tomorrow (e.g. in terms of your personal development and in preparing your personal development plan).

It enables learning from the past to choose beneficial change

It may engender (short term) discomfort

Encouraging learning and challenge, may move people out of their comfort zones, of course

What does that feel like?

Uncomfortable.

Learn to be comfortable with the uncomfortable, it usually means that learning, growth and self improvement are taking place

It requires high support and high challenge

Simply dumping opinions (and prejudices) and walking away is not giving feedback.

Simply rejecting others' perceptions or being defensive or in denial or retaliating is not acceptable, and is not giving feedback in light of the above, and may create feedback inhibition.

Honestly sharing perceptions, openly questioning for learning, seeking different choices for the future together, thinking differently as a result and deciding together how to change (and then helping each other to do it) IS where the real, powerful benefits are. It is giving receiving feedback.

The key is to GO AND SEEK others' views - be proactive

No feedback, no learning and self improvement. Success in self help necessitates giving feedback.
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