Asset or liability?
A definition of stress

This page begins with a definition of stress, looks at how does stress affect health and explains how to relieve stress. The purpose is to help understand stress, both as an asset and a liability, and how to turn it to advantage in terms of self improvement.

When the going gets tough.

Stress is an inevitable part of living and can seriously damage your mental, emotional and physical health,
AND / OR,
it can be a source of stimulation that when aligned with your goals, and balanced with mindful meditation or other techniques how to meditate, can lead to happiness and success levels you wouldn't have achieved without it.

Most of the time, it is NOT stress that is the problem, it is how we manage it (or not). We are often too slow in responding to the first signs of stress and we may reach for stress relief techniques and stress reducers only after some pain.

And yet how to relieve stress methods, such as relaxation techniques for stress management, are easily learned and applied with a little effort and perseverance.

Knowing how to deal with stress; how does stress affect health; and tips for reducing stress are readily available and only a mouse click away, as on this web site for example.

Most of the time, stress creates opportunities (if we go about things in the right way).

a definition of stress and why it is inevitable and necessary.

Some definitions:

* it is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances (dictionary)

* it means different things to different people, but shares the common characteristic that when we reach a point in our lives where our defence mechanisms become over stretched, and we can no longer cope with the situation, we will feel out of control

* it comes from inside us as a mental, physical and emotional response to situations that we perceive as containing some threat or risk to our survival or well being or future potential.

Given the definition of stress, why is it inevitable?

Living causes stress, given the definition of stress above, and it is inevitable that we will encounter some situations that threaten us or that we believe we cannot cope with adequately.

As we have all learned from experience, it is impossible to predict the future with 100% accuracy and to control other people and circumstances. So, we are bound to encounter surprises - some nice and some nasty.

In particular, we will often feel stressed when we feel:

* that our motives and priorities conflict (e.g. looking after a family as well as holding down a job)

* internal conflict about our beliefs and values (e.g. working with people or in a business displaying dishonest or unethical standards of behaviour)

* the victim of unpredictable events, especially that are damaging (e.g. losing your job in a surprise company take over)

* deep loss (e.g. being made redundant or the death of a spouse)

* frustration or injustice (e.g. being blocked for promotion).

The definition of stress and all of the above share the common element of the biggest causes of stress, not being in control or losing control which raises an interesting question:

What is your locus of control?

Put simply, this means:

* do you believe that you achieve your happiness or success as a result of your own actions?

If so, you have an internal loci of control and will tend to feel in control of your situation most of the time, or

* do you believe that your happiness or success depends on the actions of others or luck or fate?

If so, you have an external loci of control and will tend to feel most of the time that your situation controls you.

In general, people with an internal loci of control will find it easier to adapt, deal with change and find solutions in demanding situations.

That is, they are likely to feel less stressed than those with an external loci of control would if they were in the same or a similar situation.

Given the definition of stress, why is it necessary?

Stress is a stimulus which, depending on how we deal with it, may cause us discomfort or ill health or harm but which may also cause us to be highly motivated, focused on achievement, learning, and success.

Achieving our goals and success may have been challenging, even frightening, but once achieved, if we apply positive learning and whole brain thinking, the probability is that we will have grown, stretched our comfort zone and our self improvement will have been enhanced.

Conversely, if we never had the stress stimulus to respond to (as in the definition of stress above), we would probably stagnate and be only able to do what we have always done - i.e. we would get stuck - the opposite of self improvement.

So, when the going gets tough, smile and welcome the opportunity to develop yourself and create the future of your choice and then (the tough) get going, with determination.

The definition of stress above shows that it is inevitable and necessary.
Stress management and our goals will
enable us to turn stress into an asset to boost our self improvement.
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