Avoid cop out, achieve empowerment, exercise choice and take initiative
to be in control

This page explains how cop out is a choice and gives a definition of proactive. What is self discipline is also explained along with how to take initiative. These are all key behaviours that separate the "victors" from the "victims" in life.

To be proactive means to make things happen rather than to cop out, watch things happen and react afterwards (and / or procrastinate).

This is critical to self improvement because it requires a mindset of ownership, initiative, empowerment, motivation and being a leader.

The thinking is that it is MY life and I will take responsibility for it.
(Click here to see some frequently asked questions about whole brain thinking and its background).

The answers or solutions I need flow or start from within me rather than from outside of me (e.g. my personal development, including, for example, how to prioritise work rather than allowing work to dominate me).

In addition, it requires self motivation.
Click here to go to our self diagnosis page and give yourself a rating for being proactive.

Why does it make sense to be proactive and avoid cop out?

Think about this concept:

although this may not be valid for very young children, for adults:

1. you own your own behaviour.

Whatever you do belongs to you. You are responsible.

You have the power and the control.

For example, to say to someone, “you annoyed me”, is not valid in terms of this concept because the person can only annoy you if you let them.

If you get annoyed, it is your annoyance - a valid description then would be, “I got annoyed” (rather than, “you annoyed me”).

Accepting the view that, “you annoyed me”, gives all the power and control in the situation to the other person.

In effect, you choose to cop out.

Accepting the view that, “I got annoyed”, takes responsibility for your behaviour and keeps the power and control with you.

In effect, you choose to personally commit - do you agree?


2. you always have a choice.

The idea here is that, as an adult, in all situations you always have a choice about how to behave.

In the example used above, “you annoyed me”: maybe the person pulled out in front of you, and you had your children in the back of the car, and the person created a dangerous situation and.......you lost your temper and got annoyed with them.

In that sense you didn’t make a choice to get annoyed, it just happened, but you do have a choice about how to behave then.

You can choose to stay annoyed or submit to road rage.

You can choose to retaliate and do something dangerous.

You can choose to calm down.

You can choose to ignore it.

You have a choice - actually, you have several choices - do you agree?

So it makes sense to be proactive, and know how to take initiative, because the opportunity to do so is always there and, if you cop out and don't take responsibility, someone else will.

You will then lose leadership, power and influence and initiative.

Far from self improvement, this turns out to be self sabotage.



In any situation, empowerment will require you to be proactive and:

* exercise choice and work out what you need to make happen (your left brain will use analysis of the facts etc. to do this.

Your right brain will use intuition.

Depending on the circumstances, and time available, using both is usually a good idea - e.g. make two lists)

* plan how to make it happen and take action (just do it)

* follow-up to get feedback (e.g. to take more effective action)

* Sometimes it needs fast immediate action to be a victor. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Either before, during or after the situation, you will have opportunities to learn if you make the choice to:

* challenge your current assumptions

* examine your current beliefs

* take initiative and responsibility for your actions

* think and plan to anticipate possibilities and get ahead

* seek and think in terms of possibilities (rather than limitations)

All of the above is also true regarding your relationships with others.

For example, you may belong to a team or choose to belong to a team.

Being proactive, and avoiding cop out, in that context will require you to participate fully in the team's working and to ensure that team building takes place.

As ever,

the choice to cop out is yours, as is the choice to be proactive and make the right things happen or be reactive and watch as things happen to you.
If you want to be in control, and a victor, you must know how to take initiative.

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